Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Monday, December 17, 2007

Kris Kringle 2008

The first week of Kris Kringle held last December 1, 2007 and the first theme was “something sweet and huggable”. They showed off their teddy bear, chocolates, pillow and stuff toys.

December 8, 2007 held the second Kris Kringle. The entire department goes wild and naughty with the theme “something green”. Everybody was given the chance to open up their newly received “Green “gifts from their mommy and daddy.

Pink and Blue teddy bear, cd case, pink and blue handkerchief, pink and blue soap case. The things we got from our last Kris Kringle.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene ten years ago. The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Sugar came into my life. It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Sugar hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her. Sugar said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls. Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so. I moved Sugar's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Sugar's body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious. When my wife went to my office, Sugar had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes. Once again, Sugar said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Sugar. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement, which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one-day. But I could not take back what I had said.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce, which had obsessed me for several weeks, seemed to be firmer and clearer.

Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again. She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, Hey Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning. I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically.

I told Sugar about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face. On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Sugar became vague. On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, it seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mom out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old. I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy. I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision.

I walked upstairs. Sugar opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Sugar, I won't divorce. I'm serious. She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Sugar, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you. Sugar seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife, which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007


Friends… A simple word isn't it? I used to think that friends were the people that you could laugh and talk to. Now I know that friends aren't that, they're the people that touch your heart. You could spend hours with them doing nothing at all and it can be the best time of your life, just because it was with them. They're the people you can share your secrets with, cry with, laugh with, and just have fun with. They don't judge you or make you change. They accept you exactly as you are. They look at you and they see a great person, one they love spending time with. You all share something in common and are tied together by memories, tears, laughs and smiles. You're tied together by love for the other. Friendship is the strangest but greatest thing in the world. I find my time with my friends, the best times of my life. My friends are my heart, my soul, my fun, my laughter, tears, love and my life.

Monday, December 3, 2007

The Perfect Gift

It's just a small, white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas tree. No name, no identification, no inscription. It has peeked through the branches of our tree at this time of the year for the past 10 years or so.

It all began because my husband Lewis hated Christmas. Oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the commercial aspects of it. You know, the overspending, the frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma, the gifts given in desperation because you couldn't think of anything else.

Knowing he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties and so forth. I reached for something special just for Lewis. The inspiration came in an unusual way.
Our son Cyrill, who was 12 that year, was wrestling at the junior level at the school he attended. Shortly before Christmas, there was a non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner city church. The kids were mostly black.

These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be the only thing holding them together, presented a sharp contrast to our boys in their spiffy blue and gold uniforms and sparkling new wrestling shoes.

As the match began, I was alarmed to see that the other team was wrestling without headgear, a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler's ears. It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously couldn't afford. Well, we ended up walloping them. We took every weight class. And as each of their boys got up from the mat, he swaggered around in his tatters with false bravado, a kind of street pride that couldn't acknowledge defeat.

Lewis, seated beside me, shook his head sadly, "I wish just one of them could have won," he said. "They have a lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them." Lewis loved kids-all kids. He understood kids in competitive situations, having coached little league football, baseball and lacrosse. That's when the idea for his present came.
That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of wrestling headgear and shoes and sent them anonymously to the inner city church. On Christmas Eve, I placed the envelope on the tree, the note inside telling Lewis what I had done and that this was his gift from me.

His smile was the brightest thing about Christmas that year and in succeeding years. For each Christmas, I followed the tradition - one year sending a group of mentally challenged youngsters to a hockey game, another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned to the ground the week before Christmas - on and on...

The envelope became the highlight of our Christmas. It was always the last thing opened on Christmas morning and our children, ignoring their new toys, would stand with wide-eyed anticipation as their dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal its contents.
As the children grew, the toys gave way to more practical presents, but the envelope never lost its allure. Still, the story doesn't end there.

You see, we lost Lewis last year due to cancer. When Christmas rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief that I barely got the tree up. Yet Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree, and in the morning, it was joined by three more. Each of our children, unbeknownst to the others, had placed an envelope on the tree for their dad.

The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further, with our grandchildren standing around the tree with wide-eyed anticipation, watching as their fathers take down their envelopes.

Lewis's spirit, like the spirit of Christmas, will always be with us.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

MIS Christmas Tree

Our Little Christmas Tree

Friday, November 30, 2007

I'd Still SayYes...

But there are times when I just drop all these logical ideas and just go on with what my feelings tell me, what makes me happy. The difference is that I’m entering this situation with my eyes; mind; and heart wide open, knowing that hurt is inevitable. I am trying to derive pleasure from what I can get in the moment without kidding myself that a happily ever after awaits me. I know that I am doing this more for myself than for him. I don’t refuse to see reason, I see the obvious what-to-dos oh so very clearly but I chose not to heed them not to be difficult but to be happy.

My friends are actually worried about my actions because they don’t want me to get hurt. I appreciate that so much. This is the reason why I want to tell them that hey, don’t worry about me coz’ I am happy. He makes me happy. Believe it or not, even with all the hurting. I really am.

Sunday, November 25, 2007


Being the cynical person, I lectured myself a million times about him. I repeatedly told myself not to expect anything because I am 99% sure that he won’t really shape up. My motto was to expect the worst so that I’ll be able to appreciate the good little things when they happen. I was my own devil’s advocate and it’s really uncanny because most of the time, the advices I get from my friends are the exact same things that I tell myself.

Friday, November 9, 2007

Heller! How are you?

How can you even say you do have a life when most of your naughty friends are having their weekend nightlife somewhere far from where you are? Sometimes, in order for us to have something, we must pay it with something as well. Everything has a price, even love? Yeah, sad but true. Love has sacrifice.

I was thinking how many sacrifices I did in my entire 27 years. I cannot count, maybe because that is not important anymore. Lots of times, I cried. Most of the time, I was just being too sensitive and emotional and I hate myself for it. Simply because, it makes me look so weak and fragile. Such a crybaby!

So, how's my weekend? Just one of the ordinary days I have, spent most of my time sleeping and doing nothing. God, how productive I am..

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

They Say It's My Birthday!!!

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Yes, today mark the start of my 27th year on this remarkable planet. I have really enjoyed today- lots of great conversations, cards, emails, text messages, special hug from my 1 year old son and a call from my hubby (har! har! har!).

There are couple of things I had always thought I would have achieved by now, but today is no day for regrets. I'll just be happy and rejoice in the significance of the day. So, send my gifts to my house. I'm waiting.

For everyone reading this and to all the people who touched my life - thank you for making the past year more than just something to bear. And I wish for all of us a wonderful year to come.

And if it's your birthday, too, then happy birthday to you! :-)

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Letting Go

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There was once a lonely girl who longed desperately for love. One day while she was walking in the woods she found two starving songbirds. She took them home and put them in a small glided cage. She nurtured them with love and the birds grew strong. Every morning they greeted her with a marvelous song. The girl felt great love for the birds. She wanted their singing to last forever.

One day the girl left the door to the cage open. The larger and stronger of the two birds flew from the cage. The girl watched anxiously as he circled high above her. She was so frightened that he would fly away and she would never see him again that as he flew close, she grasped at him wildly. She caught him in her fist. She clutched him tightly within her hand. Her heart gladdened at her success in capturing him. Suddenly she felt the bird go limp. She opened her hand stared in horror at the dead bird. Her desperate clutching love had killed him.

She noticed the other bird teetering on the edge of the cage. She could feel his great need for freedom. His need to soar into the clear, blue sky. She lifted him from the cage and tossed him softly into the air. The bird circled once, twice, three times.
The girl watched delighted at the bird's enjoyment. Her heart was no longer concerned with her loss. She wanted the bird to be happy. Suddenly the bird flew closer and landed softly on her shoulder. It sang the sweetest melody, she had ever heard.

The fastest way to lose love is to hold on too tight, the best way to keep love is to give it -- WINGS!

Thursday, September 6, 2007

What Your Hands Say About You

It has been a long time since the last meme post. This meme was from Emmyrose, Dancing with Butterflies. She tagged me like one or two months ago. hehehe! Sorry for the delayed post. :-)

What Your Hands Say About You

You are logical, analytical, and rational. You have good verbal skills.

Flexible and broad minded, you can fit in to any situation. There's no telling where your life will take you.

Consistent and reliable, you like to count on structure and routine in your life.

Your emotions tend to be relaxed and uncomplicated. You don't read too much into things.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Lord I know that Your love is healing...

There are times when nothing was wrong. Sometimes love just naturally fades away and this happens to people who are simply not meant for each other. I know it is difficult to comprehend why relationships suddenly take unexpected turns. But it always happens. People we treasure are taken away from us for a reason. Sometimes we have to stop asking why and just accept our fate. If there is certainty in that end, then we should stop being bitter and just be thankful that for once, we have loved and shared our life.

Sometimes we are holding on to someone whom we think is still there but has really been gone, or was just looking for a decent way out of your relationship. You know how women can get away with words. There is nothing wrong in loving someone. You may be able to bare the pain when love begins to hurt. And when it hurts, you may still be able to give even more. But what good does it bring you when the person you love shows no respect for what you feel and makes excuses for his inability to love you back. Love isn’t love until you give away. But love will only have life when it is shared by two people who believe in it’s meaning, by people who share one goal, one commitment and by people who are selflessly loyal to each other.

God ways aren’t always easy and painless. Some are meant to open our eyes to what we do not see. Some are meant to make us realize what we stubbornly refuse to understand. But all of them will always be meant to make us stronger and better persons. We just have to trust Him on that. You may find your way to the farthest planet and still remember the one you love. Distance has little to do with forgetting. This healing should begin in your heart. Acceptance is the first step to recovery. Once you have learned to understand that this is where it ends then it is the only time when you will learn how to move on with your life without having to stop every time you are reminded of the bitterness of the past.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

As They Saw His Angel Face

They were both there the first time he cried. It was a joyful sound. The sound of life beginning and they waited so long to hear it. Mom and Dad were proud of him as they saw his angel face. But today he lay there in the dirt face down crying one more time..."Mom, Dad...help me!" They were not nearby to hear his final cry.

He grew to be a young man full of hope and pride. He had dreams and plans for the future. In fact, waiting for him back home was the girl of his dreams. They met at school and just like fairy tales and romance stories this love affair was the kind that was meant to be. The last time they saw each other they made promises of faithfulness. They talked about the wedding and a dozen or more children of their own. He said, "I love you more than anything in this world." She cried and with tears running softly down her face she said, " I will wait for you and while we are apart my heart will skip every other beat until your return."

Mom and Dad stood by watching and dreaming of grandchildren to come and how they would spend the holidays together as one big family. They said goodbye and after long "I don't want to let you go" hugs, they waved one last time as the plane lifted off the runway and headed away from home. On the drive back there was silence as each of them remembered the first times, the good times, and the challenges of the past. "Honey, it seems like just yesterday that he took his first steps," said Dad. "I can remember holding him in my arms and thanking God for this miracle in my life," said Mom. "Mom," said the young bride to be, "I know that feeling, too."

Months pass by and letters exchanged by the dozens. His time away is coming to an end. He'll be home again soon. They gather at the airport once more to greet him. This should have been the joyful return of their son, her fiancé. The plane lands and makes its final turn. The propellers stop with a sputtering sound. The passenger door opens as the steps are put in place. But this is not for him. The rear baggage door is unlatched and a small truck rolls underneath to gather its contents. "There, that must him." Dad whispers quietly. Mom bursts into tears. His fiancé bows her head and cries openly into her hands. He is home just like he promised. She was faithful and true. They didn't hear his last cry. He died face down on foreign soil. You see he and tens of thousands of other men and women returned home that way so that you could be with your family and friends this weekend sharing laughter, good food and the freedom that only America can offer. War should never be. But as it has had it's place in our history, young men and women gave their lives for the things that you and I take for granted everyday. Count your freedoms and they will equal one for every life lost. Know that as Mom and Dad stood by the casket and looked at their son one last time, Mom and Dad were proud of him as they saw his angel face.

Friday, August 3, 2007

Welcome Death

One of our greatest fears is the fear of death. If all of us knew when we would die when we’d probably spend the rest of our lives trembling and dreadfully waiting for that moment to come. But we will all come to rest. Each in our own and right time. This is all part of God’s divine purpose…but human as we are, we get scared and sorry for ourselves when we know we are being called to finally bid life in this world goodbye.

Death is not the end of life but just the beginning of a new one. Life in this world is not a matter of choice but a matter of faith. Those whose faiths are weak die but those who believe die with a promise of better things to come. Faith means believing in miracles. It means knowing and trusting that God is in control.

Life’s second chance is in God’s hands. We may never be able to understand his wisdom in this lifetime but He will definitely enlighten us in the next. If it is his will that you get your second chance then be thankful and live life to the fullest. If not, then just let your faith work in you for He may not have given you the chance to be with your love one’s but He will surely bring them close to you… in your heart forever.

Monday, July 23, 2007


There are times when we get discouraged by things that happen and by people around us. Times when we want to give up on someone because we don’t love him anymore. Times when we hate ourselves for hating others. Times when we stop loving because people fall short of our expectations.

To love without asking why or how. To love without setting any limit. Is this how we love? Or is our love defined by how much we gain or how much someone makes us happy? We should love a person not because of anything else but simply because we love him, nothing more… nothing less. Our love becomes conditional when we begin to put a price tag on someone. When that person falls below certain limits then he wouldn’t get as much attention and love that he would have been given he’d more qualified.

Love doesn’t measure, weigh or gauge a person. Love just loves it is the very basic yet so difficult formula in the success of any relationship. To love unconditionally is to love beyond the bounds of what limit us, race and creed, wealth and poverty, sickness and health and suffering and happiness. Love knows no bounds and only when we learn how to conquer the limits of what keeps us away from others can love take on a few meaning. One that doesn’t ask why or how. One that simply believes… one that simply loves...

Friday, July 20, 2007

Touched for the very first time…

Virginity has always been a sensitive issue in many relationships. There are men who will still value greatly a woman’s chastity and would always want to have her first, but the sad fact is, not all first relationship become our last and there are many women who lose their virginity to their first boyfriends. Does this mean that these women are doomed to fail in their succeeding relationships? Well, I don’t think so because many couples do not end up with their first beaus but they end up with happy marriages. I believe that this would only be an issue if there is no transparency in a relationship.

If you made a mistake in giving it your first failed relationship then make sure your next boyfriend knows that he wasn’t the first. This is where many relationships are strained- women taking the risk of not telling their boyfriends about it. Men are likely to discover it one way or another and if you take them by surprise they would feel cheated, get mad and get even. Then you can bid your relationship goodbye again.

There is only one simple rule. If a man loves you he would care less about your past and if a man who doesn’t love you would live in it and use it to hurt you and find his way out. We all make mistakes. Women give in to men who they thought would be their forever. If they only knew they wouldn’t end up together, many of them would have been more careful in letting their passion take over. But what’s done is done. No woman goes to the doctor to have her virginity stitched back. Don’t think that you would never find someone who can embrace your past. Give yourself a chance and you will find the man whose love will see beyond your mistakes… the man who will understand you for all that you have been, accept you for what you have become and love you for what you truly are…

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Miles Away...

Sometimes I wished that some magical force could transport me so that I can be where I wanted to be… next to the one I love. But reality bites back and I’d just be waking up alone and longing for that someone who I miss like crazy. I can truly say that it is indeed difficult to keep a relationship that is separated by spans of oceans and miles of land.

Now, I am luckier because we have affordable technology at our disposal. The internet, e-mail, voicemail, telephone and video conferencing are just some of the great marvels of science that somehow help us bridge the gap of time and space. But not even the best technology can bring us physically closer to the people we long to be with…

Thursday, June 28, 2007

At kung kelan???...Hindi ko alam...

Bakit pa natin kailangan magkita? Bakit pa natin kailangan magkakilala kung mawawala ka lang din naman? Bakit pa kailangan magsabi ng hello, if in a while you’ll also say goodbye?

Bakit ganon hindi ka naman pala magsta-stay. Sana hindi ka na lang dumating. Hindi ko alam kung anong reason bakit ka pa nilagay sa buhay ko. Mabuti sana kung pag-alis mo eh babalik ako sa dati kung paano ako nung wala ka. Kaya lang hindi eh. Alam mo na kapag nawala ka, hahanap-hanapin kita. Dati, wala akong paki-alam kung wala akong kausap o ka-telebabad sa telepono? Wala akong paki kung hindi ka magtext. Normal ang buhay ko. Pero nung dumating ka, nagkaroon ng konting kulay. Natuto akong magpuyat dahil magkausap tayo sa telepono. Natuto ulit ako tumawa ng malakas dahil sa mga kwento mo. Natuto ulit ako kung paano magmahal.

Pero bigla na lang nagbago ang ihip ng hangin. Bigla tayong nagising sa katotohanan na mas pinili nating parehas na lang maging malaya. Na may kanya-kanya tayong dahilan kung bakit hindi pwedeng maging “tayo”.

Everything has been said and every decision has been given. I may not be there anymore but a part of me will always stay with you…

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Your hair was long when we first met...

As a fiercely independent and idiosyncratic singer/songwriter who plays the piano, Regina Spektor draws easy comparisons to Tori Amos. But her work feels less remote and more versatile, thanks in large part to a singular songwriting voice that spans genres and personas with grace and apparent ease.

Her first album recorded for widespread distribution -- its three predecessors were self-released, though the marvelous Soviet Kitsch received a high-profile reissue last year -- the new Begin to Hope finds the Russian-born performer in the midst of a full-blown star turn. On "Samson," the album's most elegantly lovely song, Spektor uses the story of Samson as a jumping-off point for a poignant rumination on disappointment, aging and obsolescence.

For all its thematic ambition and Biblical allusions, "Samson" functions best as a subtle character sketch, but it also makes a grand showcase for Spektor's knockout arrangement. When a wave of minor-key synths rolls in during the sweetly melancholy chorus -- just as she hits the words, "Your hair was long when we first met" -- the resulting sound is moving to a degree that's practically paralyzing.


Artist: Regina Spektor
Album: Begin to Hope
Genre: Pop

you are my sweetest downfall
i loved you first, i loved you first
beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
i have to go, i have to go
your hair was long when we first met

samson went back to bed
not much hair left on his head
he ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
and history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us
and the bible didn't mention us, not even once

you are my sweetest downfall
i loved you first, i loved you first
beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads
but they're just old light, they're just old light
your hair was long when we first met

samson came to my bed
told me that my hair was red
told me i was beautiful and came into my bed
oh i cut his hair myself one night
a pair of dull scissors in the yellow light
and he told me that i'd done alright
and kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light
and he kissed me 'til the mornin' light

samson went back to bed
not much hair left on his head
ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed
oh, we couldn't bring the columns down
yeah we couldn't destroy a single one
and history books forgot about us
and the bible didn't mention us, not even once

you are my sweetest downfall
i loved you first

Monday, June 25, 2007


Got tagged by joyce

I don’t want to tag anyone. If you want this meme please feel free to grab it. Enjoy!

1. Have you dated someone older than you?

2. Unforgettable high school memory?
senior’s ball

3. Ever hated someone so bad?

4. Have you ever failed a subject at school?

5. When was the last time you said I love you and mean?
yesterday! hehehe!

6. What’s the last thing you purchased?
yakult! hehehe!

7. Longest phone conversation?
last week

8. Ever put lemon in your hair?
bakit naman?

9. Stolen something?
yung chocolate ng sister ko..

10. Had a crush on your neighbor?
yes.. his pink honda jazz

11. Lost a friend?
Lost?? Lost of communication..

12. Laid on your back and watched clouds shapes go by?

13. Felt an earthquake?
yes, when I was in grade 4.. yun na yata yung pinakamalakas..

14. Touched a snake?
not yet

15. Gotten in a car accident?
oo naman sa imus

16. Had a party in your house while your parents were away?
oo naman..

17. Use a fake ID?

18. Been lost?
muntik na!

19. Kissed in the rain?

From Cai

4 Jobs I’ve Had

* Computer Teacher
* Office Staff
* MIS Staff
* Yaya ni Cyrill

4 movies I’ve watched over and over

* Notting Hill
* City of Angels
* Little Mermaid
* Paano Kita Iibigin

4 TV Shows/stations I like to watch

* ABS-CBS- Syempre kapamilya!
* GMA- minsan kapuso din!
* Q-TV- ka-Q
* Studio 23- Kabarkada mo!

4 of my favorite foods

* shrimp
* squid
* strawberry
* chocolates

4 places I’d like to be right now

* Paris
* Japan
* Korea
* Hongkong

4 people who will respond

* mayee
* toniwoni
* tintin
* era

Saturday, June 16, 2007


I was tagged by Fingertalks. Actually, this meme is like 2 days already. Anyways, here are the interview questions I answer. To view the complete list of questions and the rules please visit Christy's link. Choose your own questions and answer them briefly. Just be yourself!

Here's my interview:

When did you start blogging?
I started blogging in Friendster in year 2005 but I stopped after a few months and signup for new blog account with Blogspirit Community within the same year.Then I started with Blogger in April of this year. I got started here the way everybody does. I looked at few blogs and decided to signup with this community.

What do you hope to accomplish your blog?
Interesting question! I don't think I'm trying to accomplish anything with my blog. I just wanted to write or post about things that happen in my life because I think I am a writer at heart yay! but I've been delighted to find that I build friendship with my fellow bloggers.

What's your best quality?
Loving and Friendly.

What's your worst quality?

Is this your first meme?
Nope. This is my second meme. The first one was the Alexa Train.

I really like seeing people's answers to this meme, so please, please consider yourself tagged if you're at all interested! To be going on with though, I shall tag:

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

IV-Gold: Rewind

Cherry's Pavillion Entrance

From talks of going to Water Camp to Island Cove. Our final destination? Cherry’s Pavillion! Hahaha! At last, the plan for reunion finally pushed through. Last June 10-11, 2007, we celebrate our 10th Year Reunion of IV-Gold Batch 1997. Cherry’s was a cheap but nice place. We got to the place late but we still had fun. We had baon of adobong manok, inihaw na tilapia and bangus, dinuguan, inihaw na baboy, lumpiang prito, ensaladang pipino and labanos, mangga, bagoong, pinaputok na tilapia and pancit malabon.

IV-Gold Girls

Well, I finally had a taste of chlorine water (eww…) nakapag-swim din kahit parang janitor fish lang daw ako! Hahaha! We’ll hindi naman kasi ako good swimmer so ano pa expect nila sa akin, di ba? Some of my friends hit the slides so many times. Ako? naku wag mo na itanong! Hahaha! While nasa side kami ng pool, non-stop chikahan. Puro kalokohan. Kwentuhan about the past and syempre about the buhay-buhay ngayon since most of us may kanya-kanya ng family. I missed my gurls so much! Pambihira nag-kapuyatan kami sa kuwentuhan. I enjoyed the morning in the resort because I was still awake to catch the sunrise!

Billy,Chaw and Joshua
When I got home, natulog ako and then woke up just to eat lunch, then slept again until Monday morning. (buti na lang Holiday!). I had a great time in our reunion because I saw the people I haven’t seen for a long time. Too bad Amor, Amie, Ramsey, John, Chadwin and Michelle aren’t there. Whew! Next time Galera naman!

IV-Gold Boys

Liezl, Lena and Kim

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Araw Ko Ngayon!

Feeling ko nung nagsabog si Lord ng kamalasan ako lang gising. Eh hindi na ako nilubayan simula pa kaninang madaling araw. Eh bakit kamo... Ito basahin mo..

1. 1:09am nagising ako sa iyak ng baby ko. Anything na mahawakan nya hinahagis nya. Feeling ko nanaginip kasi habang hinahagis nya yung mga stuff toys and pillows sa tabi nya nakapikit siya at naiyak. Nakakainis kasi hindi ako makatulog tapos gigising pa ako ng 6:00am para pumasok. Kaya malamang antok na naman ako nito sa office.

2. On my way sa terminal ng jeep biglang sumuka yung bata sa tabi ko. Buti naiwasan ko siya pero pagtingin ko sa laylayan ng slacks ko yuckiness!!! May konting talsik ng suka ng bata. Feeling ko umakyat yung dugo sa ulo ko. Gusto kong sigawan yung ale pero naisip ko what if sa akin mangyari yun biglang sumuka din si Cyrill sa biyahe. O diba kaya nasabi ko na lang dun sa ale.. "Ale, next time wag mo papainumin ng cold drinks yang anak mo sa umaga.. eh hindi pa yata nagbe-breakfast yung anak mo pinainom mo na agad nyan! tsk! tsk!

3. Nasa terminal na ako. While waiting mapuno yung sasakyan kinuha ko yung fone ko to check kung may message at meron nga. Opening.... "Momsy Glenn Magandang Umaga!" Sa inis ko denelete ko agad yung message nya. Nakakainis sinabi ko ng wag akong tawaging mommy or momsy dahil hindi kita anak! Si
Cyrill lang ang pwede tumawag sa akin ng mommy OK! Anak ng pitong kuba ang kulit!

4. Pagdating ko sa office, swipe ng ID. Nyeee! 8:22am na. Nagmamadali akong maglakad papunta sa building namin take note nasa 4th floor kami and wala man lang elevator so mega akyat ang lola mo sa hagdan. Tahimik masyado kasi wala ng tao sa 3rd floor medyo nakakatakot tingnan kasi para siyang inabanduna. Derecho lang ako sa paglalakad kasi nga ayoko makita tapos biglang may lumabas sa cr ng lalake sa tabi ng room. Waaah! Nagulat ako yung supervisor pala namin. Kinabog tuloy ang dibdib ko akala ko may monster na. Yun pagdating ko sa 4th floor bigla ng nagdong-dong 8:30am na wala ng time para magbreakfast. May baon pa naman akong choco bang-bang na pagtingin ko sa bag ko pichat na!

Kaya ito dinaan ko na lang sa paggawa ng entry na ito. Wala ako sa mood magwork. As in nagugutom na ako. Hindi naman pwede kumain sa place ko. Saka baka makita ako ni Damulag yung boss kong japanese eh sitahin ako. Kaya itoh.. "coffee na lang dear" ang drama ko.

Sana after ko i-post ang entry na ito, wala ng kamalasan akong ma-encounter. Kung meron man baka "araw ko nga ngayon!"

Friday, June 1, 2007

I never got there..

Yesterday we watch the movie of Regine and Piolo’s Paano Kita Iibigin at SM Bacoor. (yehey! libre itoh ni Sasa!) We got there at 6:35PM pero the movie will start at 6:55PM so we go to Jollibee to buy some foods. (o, diba jologs na jologs talaga!)

So here’s the story…

Fired from her job and evicted from her apartment, Martee (Regine Velasquez) brings herself and her asthmatic son to Zambales for a vacation. In a dilapidated resort owned by Lance (Piolo Pascual), Martee finds work as a manager, where she has to come up with plans on how to increase the resort's clientele. At first, Martee finds it hard to adjust to the provincial lifestyle, but she eventually gets the hang of it.

Whenever they work together, Lance and Martee always clash. As they spend more time with each other, they discover other facets of each other's personalities. Lance starts to fall for her. Slowly, Martee is changing his outlook in life. Meanwhile, Martee is also falling for him. Her heart and her happiness have never opened up like this to anyone after her son's father left them. Finally, she has learned to laugh and enjoy life again.

While Martee seems to be ready to step out of her comfort zone, Lance is not yet ready to give up his "living on the edge" lifestyle. When Martee learns of Lance's involvement in a collision that killed his girlfriend and friends, she begins to understand where he's coming from.

In one romantic moment, Martee and Lance make love. This time, Lance decides to take a big step. He tries to tone down his lifestyle to assuage her fears and even seeks his family's help to restore the resort to its former glory.

However, Lance has untimely meeting with his dead girlfriend's family. Lance reverts to his old lifestyle. At this point, Martee thinks she can handle this because she truly loves him. When Lance's volatility starts to hurt her son, Martee realizes that this is too much for her. She loves Lance, but can she live with such a volatile person? Will she put her son's security on the line? This time, she must choose between love and family. And she must decide if she should follow her heart even when it has been already been broken before.

Unforgettable lines from this movie:

Eugene: Welcome to Heaven Resort where you can rest in peace. Welcome to Heaven Resort such alovely place... such a lovely place.. Plenty of rooms in the hotel anytime of the year. Welcome to Heaven Resort!

Regine: Ibig sabihin ba mahal mo din ako?
Piolo: I'm getting there…

Regine: Mahal mo ba ako? Mahal mo ba ako?
Piolo: I never got there..

Regine: I wish I had another heart that would love you too much... kaya lang, isa lang ang puso ko na kahit paulit-ulit mo saktan mamahalin ka pa rin nya...

Eugene: “God is good! All the time!"

Piolo: Kaya ka iniwan eh...

Regine: Kung iniwan nya ako sya ang may problema. Kung pinanindigan nya ako mamahalin ko sya ng buong-buo!

Well, we watch this movie because of its quality and not because of a gimik that was created to spark curiosity. And sabi nga pag hindi ka jologs hindi ka makaka-relate hehehe!

Full Trailer of Paano Kita Iibigin..

Thursday, May 31, 2007

My VisualDNA

This got my attention and tried out myself. And here’s my Visual DNA and get to know more about my moods, my fun, my love and my habits. I could say that the results are true... (for me, ewan ko lang po sa inyo!..)

Personality: Moods - EASY RIDER

You're a bit of romantic and like to get back to basics. A real dreamer, you like the chance of new beginnings - starting over. When it comes to art, you appreciate precision and hard work - real craftsmanship. You appreciate the history of a piece, the stories that it holds - you are a touch sentimental! As for music, for you it's all about memories, joining in, singing along to all your favourite cheesy songs. You are fun, easy going, and your tongue is firmly in your cheek. Your choice of treat reveals your values. Family is top priority and there is never enough time to spend with them.

Personality: Fun - ESCAPE ARTIST

Your love to be far away from your everyday life. You love the sun, and like to live life at a slower pace than most - you know hot to take things nice and easy! For kicks you like to indulge in your great passions. You are probably happy spending time alone, and your drive and curiosity will take you all over the world. When it comes to holidays, you'll go anywhere as there's sea and sand and then you'll just stay put. You can't always be bothered with any activities or trailing round tourist sites. Holidays are about recharging the batteries. What grosses you out? You like things to be clean, neat and smelling sweet - that's not too much to ask... is it?

Personality: Habits - NEW WAVE PURITAN

Even if you have a healthy approach to life, you still have your little vices that keep you going. It is all part of the routine, you're a creature of habit. Mmmm - caffeine - you love the stability and comfort of routine. Sometimes you need an extra kick to get going. Where would you be without it? As for the home, you have very cool and contemporary taste and see yourself as a bit of trendsetter. You like your surroundings to be simple and as stylish as you.

Personality: Love - HOME SOUL

You're a real home soul. You care deeply about family life and all that comes with it, the love of a child very special. When you think of freedom, you think of love. The comfort of being loved makes you feel free with your thoughts and words - you're a love bug.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Alexa Train???

Huh! Alexa Train?? FingerTalks tagged me to her latest post and she told me to ride the Alexa Train...

Hmmm... Who's there ba? Libre ba toh?!
Here's the instructions:

~Start Copying Here~

Alexa Redirect Train by Carl Ocab.


Put anything you like above this list – Chit Chat, talkies, introduce what this is. Something like that.

Start copying on the “~Start Copying Here~” and copy all the things listed without removing the links. (Of course, the train would be no use without those links.)

Move all the sites labeled “Newcomers” to the list labeled “Oldies.”

Add 5 sites that you want to include in the train and make their link like this: http://redirect.alexa.com/redirect?www.example.com then invite them to join the train.

Visit all the listed sites! (That’s not much work! Remember, if you plant good seeds they will also grow good) and look at your high Alexa ranking next week!


Iloilo on Foot


Female Gamer
Garry Conn
Pinoy Seminars
Cafe Romanza
Blog About Money Online
Manila Mom
How to earn money online?
Quasi Fictional
Money Blogging!

Money Online 2.0

Nate Whitehill
Grow your Writing Business

Smart Wealthy Rich
Make Money Online
with a 13-year Old

Erik Karey: Internet

Hate The

Earn Money


Mousey Ju

~End Copying Here~

What are you waiting for??? Sakay Na!!!



We’re composed of six girls who likes to rock. We may have different styles and attitude, but we blend in perfectly.

My college days will not be the same without my bigtime friends. It’s been years since we haven’t seen each other or haven’t been around together as a whole group. I miss the good old days, when we just hang around and think of nothing and wishing that our next teacher is absent or sometimes we may talk about them behind their backs. Sleepless nights and late nights cramming to review for multiple exams the following day. Not attending our classes especially when the teacher or subject is boring. How we rejoice when we hear 3 consecutive bells. (syempre walang pasok!)

I miss the laughs, the cries, the pressure of projects getting into our heads, the fights, the arcade, the malling, the corned beef with calamansi, the phone-ambush, the gulp! (inuman nah!), the highlights ( Bastos!), the house party, the dancing (WE ARE THE DANCING QUEENS!)
College days were the combination of fun, confusion, hardship at time, the expectation of what lies ahead, anticipation, disappointment and falling innocently in love. I still carry such memories wherever I go. It’s something that I will cherish forever. Those were the days that only goes around once in our lifetime.

And now all of us have own lives now, some of us are married, some of us still single and some of chose to be alone and forget anyone…

Thursday, May 24, 2007

The First Time I Loved Forever...

Why can’t we be lovers? Could it be that our relationship was a bad case of “right-love-wrong-time” or it was the MU (Mutual Understanding) kind? How can I let go of somebody I have loved for so long?

It happened 11 years ago when I met this guy. Minding his own world and I was having mine.

One night I decided to give him a ring. A ring that changes everything about me. I used a different name and everything. We became close. I befriended him and share each other’s ups and downs of life and everything that we have including love.

Day by day the calls came fewer. I don’t know how to interpret that. We never talked again liked we used to. He would oftentimes refuse to return to my calls and would send me off whenever I approach him. I was puzzled by his actions. My mind is full of what if’s and why’s and probably’s. What if I call him up? Would that be alright? On the other hand he probably does not want to continue the friendship anymore or he found the girl he wants to commit himself to.

One day he confronted me. He told me that he already knew me. At that time I felt cold. I felt guilty after the incident. I cheated him, I know. I made a fool out of him. Our friendship slowly drifted away… the friendship we once tried to build. I can’t look at him face-to-face, eye-to-eye whenever he’s around. We never talked since then. It’s so sad and I can’t help blaming myself with what happened.

A few weeks ago after that incident, I realized and admitted to myself that I’m in love with him. The guy whom I loved since the first time we met but never found the courage to spill it out. But until now, it’s so hard for me to let him know what my true feeling is. And how important he is to me. I don’t want to lose him. He’s the man whom I promised to share my life with forever… whom I was proud to love forever.

Now all I’ve got with me is some good all time memories shared with the one I’ve loved. Memories that will make me reminisce the foolishness I once did to the special man.

I know someday, somehow he will learn to forgive me for what I have done…

Somewhere I have never traveled. Gladly beyond any experience.
Your eyes have their silence. In your most frail gesture are things, which
enclosed me. Or which I can not touch, because they are too near….

Or if
your wish be to close me, I and my life will shut every beautifully suddenly. As
when the heart of this flower imagines the snow. Carefully everywhere

I do not know what it is about you that closes and opens.
Only something in me understands. The voice of your eyes is deeper than all
roses. Nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands…

Monday, May 14, 2007

Make Your Momma Proud!

Last Sunday, we watch a mini- concert by MYMP at SM Molino. I like MYMP (especially Juris) a lot. I like the way they render a song, both original and revival. And Juris' voice is just angelic. I feel calm inside whenever I hear her sing. And I find her really beautiful too.

At first the songs were OK.. then a realization…Anluffeeettt! Haha! Anlamig ng boses ni Juris.. kakainlove… especially her rendition of her hit “I’ll Never Get Over You.” Wala na… inlove na naman ako.. hahaha!

Then after the mini-concert, I took pictures of her and one of them, she posed with my sister. I was about to pose with her when people starting swarming her so I changed my mind and walked away instead. She is really very accommodating for a famous celebrity and I'm glad I went to watch them.

Juris and Chin signing my CD

Juris and Chin with my sister

Then after that, we went to KFC to have some drinkin’ and talkin’ and laughin’ hahaha!

Overall.. it was a great day!

Friday, May 11, 2007

Jologs Ka Ba???

Mga nakakahiyang katotohanan sa buhay ko. Pero siguro this is the time para maisiwalat naman yung iba heheheh! Here’s my kabaduyan ever!

Favorite naming panoorin noon ang Batibot, Eh kasi Bata!, Pen-Pen de Sarapen, Shaider at Takeshi’s Castle. Favorite ko namang kantahin ang Eternal Flame, All This Time and Lost in Your Eyes. Dito na-discover na may talent pala ako sa pag kanta. (ehem!) Lagi akong kasali sa mga dance and song presentation sa school noong elementary ako. Sinayaw namin ang Like a Prayer, Let’s Twist Again and Stars. Naalala ko grade 3 ako noon nung kinanta ko ang Bayan Ko. Member din ako ng Drum and Lyre Band. Yuckiness! ang costume namin parang table cloth… yung parang mga damit ni Kuya Germs sa GMA Supershow. Yuck! Noong first year high school naman, kinanta ko ang “Ako ay Pilipino” sa Linggo ng Wika! This is it. Shining moment ko yon ever!

Debbie Gibson

Favorite ko rin panoorin noon ang That’s Entertainment, Perfect Match, Love Notes, Star Drama Presents, Palibhasa Lalake at Tropang Trumpo (chicken!) O di ba jologs!

Iyakin ako sa mga pelikula. May pagka-drama queen din ako. heheheh! Mas lalong malala kapag nalaman nyo kung ano yung movie na iniyakan ko hehehe!. Yung Love Notes the Movie yung episode ni Vina Morales and Gary Estrada and Magnifico ni Jiro Manio. Yung ibang movie nalimutan ko… sabi nga sa song “oh oh oh saaad movies always make me cry…”.

Love Notes the Movie


Hay naku marami pa yan kaya lang nakakahiya talaga i-share. Nakakatuwa lang balikan yung mga nakaraan. Sobrang jologs di ba? Bakit wala namang masama sa pagiging jologs? Aminin mo na jologs ka din!

Monday, May 7, 2007

HRD Goes to 8 Waves Waterpark

Last May 5, 2007, the most awaited company outing was held in 8 Waves Waterpark and Hotel in Ulingao, San Rafael, Bulacan.

8 Waves Waterpark Entrance

We left the Company at 5:00am. Traffic was smooth and free. We got there at 7:30am and have a group picture taking. It was quite windy in this place. There's plenty of trees and shade. It's so easy to fall asleep! The huts are very nice.

On our way to Bulacan

MIS @ 8 Waves Waterpark

Bird's Cage Cottage

MIS @ Bubble Pool

MIS @ Safari Pool

Esme, Mhel, Me, Shine and Maybelle

me, Mhel with Wavee

Overall, we had a fun day!