I'd Still SayYes...

But there are times when I just drop all these logical ideas and just go on with what my feelings tell me, what makes me happy. The difference is that I’m entering this situation with my eyes; mind; and heart wide open, knowing that hurt is inevitable. I am trying to derive pleasure from what I can get in the moment without kidding myself that a happily ever after awaits me. I know that I am doing this more for myself than for him. I don’t refuse to see reason, I see the obvious what-to-dos oh so very clearly but I chose not to heed them not to be difficult but to be happy.

My friends are actually worried about my actions because they don’t want me to get hurt. I appreciate that so much. This is the reason why I want to tell them that hey, don’t worry about me coz’ I am happy. He makes me happy. Believe it or not, even with all the hurting. I really am.

Maybe...

Being the cynical person, I lectured myself a million times about him. I repeatedly told myself not to expect anything because I am 99% sure that he won’t really shape up. My motto was to expect the worst so that I’ll be able to appreciate the good little things when they happen. I was my own devil’s advocate and it’s really uncanny because most of the time, the advices I get from my friends are the exact same things that I tell myself.

Heller! How are you?

How can you even say you do have a life when most of your naughty friends are having their weekend nightlife somewhere far from where you are? Sometimes, in order for us to have something, we must pay it with something as well. Everything has a price, even love? Yeah, sad but true. Love has sacrifice.

I was thinking how many sacrifices I did in my entire 27 years. I cannot count, maybe because that is not important anymore. Lots of times, I cried. Most of the time, I was just being too sensitive and emotional and I hate myself for it. Simply because, it makes me look so weak and fragile. Such a crybaby!

So, how's my weekend? Just one of the ordinary days I have, spent most of my time sleeping and doing nothing. God, how productive I am..